A man named Jonathan Lee Riches has become somewhat notorious for filing a very large number of lawsuits over the years. Among his more famous clients have been Hilary Clinton, Michael Vick and the candy known as Skittles. What this man could possibly have against a beloved American cultural icon like Skittles — to say nothing of Clinton — remains to be seen. However, one of his most infamous and intriguing lawsuits to date has been against Vick in regard to dog fighting.

As everybody knows, Michael Vick likes to have dogs fight for his amusement the way Dana White likes to have men fight for his approval. While the nature of Vick’s dog fighting activities is well documented, the nature of the supposed theft of some of Riches’s dogs is not so clear. It also isn’t especially sane, considering the amount of money he wanted to claim from Vick or the method in which he wanted the money.

Riches declared that since Vick had stolen two dogs from him, the star athlete should pay him $63 billion. While a man’s dogs may indeed be precious to him, even the most dedicated dog lover would admit that such a sum is a trifle on the expensive side. What was especially bizarrre was the prescribed method of payment through gold and silver bullion, to be delivered by UPS to the front gates of the prison where Riches was staying for wire fraud. This is indeed par for the course.